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Jamie Dimon’s “Remote Event” Defense
by Charles Selden on June 20, 2012 in Breaking News, Newsmakers
What does “remote event” mean in Corp-Speak? Jamie Dimon told congress the JPMorgan Chase $3 billion loss was a “remote event.” Given the worshipful regard for Dimon by both the financial community and the US Congress, Jamie Dimon’s words deserve scripture-like scrutiny. The key word is remote. Remote varies with context: Psychologically it means out […]

Jamie Dimon’s Newest Title
by Charles Selden on May 30, 2012 in Consumerist Takeaway
JP Morgan Board Reaffirms Faith In Jamie In addition being CEO, President and Chairman of JPMorgan Chase, Jamie Dimon has been named God by the Board of Directors. The new title is aimed at restoring public confidence in JPMorgan Chase after its $2 billion credit derivative “bad bet” loss, which analysts now estimate […]

Jamie Dimon Passes Stress Test
by Charles Selden on May 20, 2012 in Breaking News
Exclusive Consumerist Manifesto Interview How could you lose $2 billion? Stuff happens. Besides, I didn’t lose it. Some of our sloppy employees made bad judgments. We’ll take care of it. The loss is now said to be $3 billion and counting. What’s up? A billion sounds bigger than it is. Trust me, where I come […]

Bernie Madoff: Is He Now A Consumerist?
by Charles Selden on April 14, 2011 in Breaking News, Categories
Or is Bernie the new Bonnie and Clyde? During the Great Depression, bankers were held in low regard by most of the country. After what banks had done to most folks, they liked the idea of B&C robbing banks. 80 years later, we consumerists hope for tougher regulation of and more transparency from the financial […]
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Gary Nelson: I just wonder what will be taking place on these "...
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