Jamie Dimon May Testify In Batman Costume

JP Morgan Seeks Help To Change The Subject

breaking_news_3-150x150JP Morgan Chase was fined $600 million last week by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) for insider trading and—once again—misleading federal regulators.* The money is small change for the nation’s largest bank, but—once again—a big PR problem because of Jamie Dimon.

Last year, when Dimon testified before the Senate on an enormous trading loss, he did so without being under oath. He called the matter “a tempest in a teapot” and shrugged off the loss as a couple of billion. (It turned out to be 6 billion.) Last week new JP Morgan improprieties led to new Senate hearings under oath. This time Dimon sent high-level subordinates.


But he keeps on talking. Dimon insists that federal oversight of banking practices is “intrusive.”  Dimon has a few rules of his own, such as stopping subordinates from giving bank examiners details about JP Morgan trading practices. It apparently is good for business: JP Morgan Chase profits are way up and will easily cover the $600 million SEC fine. (It will be a footnote under legal expenses in JPM’s annual report.)


Most of the JP Morgan Board loves Jamie Dimon. But a few board members are getting uneasy about him. While banking regulations are still being proposed, Dimon’s comments and the record-breaking SEC fine are unwelcome attention getters. So what to do about Jamie?


The JP Morgan Board has hired Flynch, Foolum and Fast (FFF). It specializes in recreation of public images damaged by execs who believe their own press releases. FFF recommends that Jamie Dimon either wear a Batman costume when making public statements or take a long goodwill trip to North Korea to help modernize their banks.

*For more, see the New York Times Trading Hearings Put Foc#276AD6


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