Comcast Asks Me To Risk My Life

COMCAST Better At Detecting Than Correcting

To fix its latest pixilation problem, COMCAST wants me to climb a two-storey ladder, find a way up a steep slate roof and check the third floor COMCAST cable connection. Last week two COMCAST technicians were needed to install the connection. (One held the ladder steady.) On Friday this Comcast message appeared on my TV screen: 

       We’ve detected an interruption in your service.

       Please check the connections…

       We’re sorry for the inconvenience…

       Call 1-800-COMCAST.

COMCAST is a leader in the movement to transfer customer service to customer self-service. Comcast’s message should say, People, if it breaks, you fix it. I don’t have a two-storey ladder—and even if I did, I ain’t climbin’ that ladder!

That COMCAST toll-free number starts with four options. Each connects to more options until the options are overridden by repeatedly pressing 0. Eventually I was connected to a technician. But he was not a pixilation guy. He transferred me to the COMCAST line handled by the Comcast Apology Department (CAD). It excels in sharing consumer pain—not removing the cause. CAD assured me getting it fixed was an urgent priority: It arranged for service to come in 6 days. Urgency has its limits.

If any of you are thinking of inviting me over to watch TV this week, don’t bother unless you can show written proof you are not a COMCAST subscriber. 

Bottom line: I get full credit for all the days until the cable works perfectly. Two months ago I got a $41.15 credit for faulty Comcast Internet service.

Comcast Quiz: Why is COMCAST trying to knock me off? Answer: Customers like me must be dealt with. A satisfied customer is one they never hear from.

The Book Cover

Note: You can read more about corporate techniques for avoiding service in my The Consumerist Manifesto Handbook, which can be ordered from your local bookstore or as

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