UPS Infiltrated By FedEx?

Is there a mole in UPS’s systems?

Is this the FedEx mole?

Letter to UPS–Based on the UPS bill I received Wednesday, it looks like Federal Express has planted a mole in the UPS billing and telemarketing systems. I am an expert on guerilla tactics used by corporations on each other, so I smelled a mole.

Why would a FedEx mole send a bill for only the late fee for a package I did not ship from a city I am never in? Answer: The mole wants to make UPS look like it outsources its billing to North Korea. Added professional touch: my name is misspelled.

Enclosed is your invoice: A $1.76 bill for just the “Late Payment Fee” part of a supposed unpaid “outstanding balance” of $29.32. It indicates I shipped a package from Indianapolis. The last time I was Indy was 6 years ago.

The FedEx mole may have also infiltrated the UPS toll-free number system. I tried to call your toll-free number for questions. I got the “due to heavy call volume” routine warning of long delays. Eventually someone claiming to be a UPS operator answered. (She did not have a North Korean accent—but I was not fooled.) She claimed that due to an ongoing “system upgrade,” she was unable to do anything, including a return call when your system was fixed. Very clever, these moles!

If there is no mole, if UPS sent this invoice and controls its phone lines, UPS will then qualify for my 2012 Overcome by Technology Award. Let me know if have alerted you to a FedEx plot or whether you guys created these problems on your own.

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