PSE&G to Become Bond Trader


Corzine to Return as Advisor

Public Service Electric and Gas, the major New Jersey public utility, is set to announce on Monday that its latest reports on power restoration qualify it to become a bond trader.  A PSE&G spokesman, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of his concern that people still without power might shut off his lights, said PSE&G’s handling of vital information would allow PSE&G to diversify into the lucrative bond trading business.

“The financial community was impressed with how credible our spokespeople have been in convincing people that PSE&G would have their power up by 11:59 PM on whatever day they asked—and each succeeding day thereafter. Even I believed them.” Statements on restoration continue to have no basis in the facts “on the ground” but serve the larger purpose of calming fears of people in the cold. PSE&G either does not know or does not want to disclose what it does know.  Either way, there are no adverse consequences for PSE&G because it is a utility too large to fail.

Financial executives were quick to grasp how these skills would transfer to describing the value of “sovereign bonds” and derivatives. A large bond trader, who specializes in Greek and Paraguayan bonds, suggested that PSE&G customers put on hold, when calling in for updates, could listen to offers to buy the bonds.

Others sources report that on Tuesday Jon Corzine, the former governor and bond wizard, will join the PSE&G Board as a bond advisor.

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