Why Don’t ZWILLING Peelers Peel?

Suggestion for New Market Possibility

My email to ZWILLING Henckels: Your peeler would easily win a peeler contest based on looks. There has never been a peeler as beautiful as yours. When people see our ZWILLING peeler, they want to know where I got it. They also wonder, “Why do you keep it on your coffee table in the living room?” Answer: It works better as a work of art than as a peeler. We keep the cheap peelers in a kitchen drawer, not on the living room coffee table.

No matter how I angle it, my new ZWILLING peeler slides on a cucumber skin rather than remove it. I tried tilting it like a Samurai swordsman making The Cucumber Peel Maneuver. The cucumber stayed intact. And forget carrots: clumps instantly clog the blade to impede further peeling.

Peeler failure could open a new and richer market. Based on reactions of all who see the peeler on the coffee table, your peeler is as an objet d’arte, a “coffee table peeler.” I suggest you commission an artist–like Willie Cole–to weld a larger work from 600 of these peelers, calling it The Triumph of the Peeler. Then contact art galleries in Chelsea or London or Shanghai.

ZWILLING’s response: ZWILLING Henckels, the famous German knife maker, has a well-deserved reputation for super sharp blades. It responded with an overnight delivery of a newer version of the peeler with a post-paid envelope for return of the bad one.

Likely Explanation: ZWILLING has outsourced peeler production to China. They should have read Midler’s Poorly Made in China, described in the Resources part of this blog.


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One Response to “Why Don’t ZWILLING Peelers Peel?”

  1. willie cole October 7, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    I’m zwilling if you’re zwilling.