How Jamie Dimon can become a national hero Tweet
Inversion used to be just a mathematics term. Now it’s a tax evasion. Tweet
Relating a minimum wage raise to Jamie Dimon’s raise Tweet
8 federal agencies are taking a look at JPMorgan violations Tweet
Jamie Dimon: There he goes again Tweet
Differences between banksters and bank robbers The International Brotherhood of Bank Robbers (IBBR) claim Barclays Bank and JPMorgan Chase have done more economic damage since 2007 than the combined total of all bank heists in the history of modern banking. A spokesperson for the IBBR elaborated: “They are banksters. We are professionals. They endanger the […]
“Bad Bet” Loss Now at $9 Billion Just when we thought it was over, looks like that big JPMorgan Chase loss of “only $2 billion” was the end of the beginning. When testifying before Congress, Jamie Dimon admitted it might double. As of today, the estimate is $9 billion, more a quadruple.* The JPMorgan Chase […]
What does “remote event” mean in Corp-Speak? Jamie Dimon told congress the JPMorgan Chase $3 billion loss was a “remote event.” Given the worshipful regard for Dimon by both the financial community and the US Congress, Jamie Dimon’s words deserve scripture-like scrutiny. The key word is remote. Remote varies with context: Psychologically it means out […]
JP Morgan Board Reaffirms Faith In Jamie In addition being CEO, President and Chairman of JPMorgan Chase, Jamie Dimon has been named God by the Board of Directors. The new title is aimed at restoring public confidence in JPMorgan Chase after its $2 billion credit derivative “bad bet” loss, which analysts now estimate […]
Exclusive Consumerist Manifesto Interview How could you lose $2 billion? Stuff happens. Besides, I didn’t lose it. Some of our sloppy employees made bad judgments. We’ll take care of it. The loss is now said to be $3 billion and counting. What’s up? A billion sounds bigger than it is. Trust me, where I come […]
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