Everything will be OK. Really. Trust me.
Since God always takes care of little children, drunks and the USA, great things could happen with a President Trump: Everything could turn out to be great. Sure, we know he knows nothing about governing and even less about the major issues facing the country. But stay cool. Wait until 2017:
An Age of Great Comedy will blossom on late-night TV. Jon Stewart will be lured back with more material than he ever dreamed of.
The Great American Wall will be built. There will be a compromise. Mexico will not have to pay. Disney—with a $70bn government loan—will build a 750-mile wall. It will be 60 feet high and impenetrable on the Mexican side. But on the USA side there will be the world’s greatest entertainment corridor. 750 miles of Trump hotels, Ferris wheels, parks, camping grounds, museums, gambling casinos, eating establishments, tattoo parlors–all joined by an 800-mile rail line and plenty of parking. Millions of Americans will spend their entire vacations touring the Trump Great American Wall. Huge taxes will be generated by the profits. It will be self-funding, believe me.
Thou shalt not lie will be eliminated from The Ten Commandments. To keep its tax-deductible status, the religious establishment will help President Trump by dumping that tattered commandment. (For now, adultery stays.) Corporate leaders will welcome fewer commandments. The line “I may have lied but I did nothing wrong” will be accepted by right-thinking people.
Putin will be Trump’s pal. Vladimir and Donald will do deals to make both Russia and America great again.
America’s military establishment will develop new ideas about regime change. Back in the 1930s a general or two toyed with the idea of a coup against President Roosevelt….
Global warming will go into reverse. Remember, God is great.
So just relax, my fellow Americans. As the comic Gene Shepherd liked to say, “It’s all right, America. Everything’s going to be OK.”